So This is Not What I Had in Mind: A Sorry Finish

I'll admit that I had high hopes when I started this project.  I had visions of sitting and writing thought-provoking posts full of wit and mandolin related wisdom.  I imagined myself posting regularly, inspired by reflective practices that manifested themselves in introspective and well-articulated entries.  I mean, for crying out loud, I used the word "musings" in my title. Can it get more pretentious than that?

This Masters program has taught me more that a little about my ability to just pick up excellent management skills on the fly.  Work ethic and time management are not the same; I know I have a good work ethic, but the difference between working hard and working smart is one of which I am painfully aware.  And it's just the simple things where it falls apart.  Needing to post at least twice a week, and then not getting around to posting twice last week - Bah!  I feel like the apostle Paul when he confesses in Romans that the things he does not want to do, he does, and the things he wants to do, he does not.  There's nothing like having your cyber-record stare you in the face and laugh, "well buddy, you really made your bed this time, now enjoy lying in it for a while."

There has been one thought that has run consistently through my mind for the last seven-and-a-bit weeks, and that is that blogging just has not remained a stable/staple part of my life (since I first began in Xanga seven or eight years ago, or regularly through this project) because I've been blessed with an overwhelming amount of non-virtual relationships and social connections; the need to reach out to an online community is somewhat secondary, in my mind, to maintaining those real-time face-to-face relationships and meeting the various responsibilities that I have throughout the week.

This has the potential, of course, to suggest that I think only people "with no life" have the time to blog, but it's not what I'm trying to say.  I'm just increasingly aware that the reason I have had trouble maintaining the demands of this assignment, and have indeed failed to do so in some cases, is because I'm incredibly busy with all of the meaningful and valuable non-online aspects of my life.  Sitting at a computer for hours on end isn't even a possibility, but rather than view my battle to find time for it as a curse, I need to see it as the unfortunate problem caused by a life full of enjoyable work, many outreach opportunities in which I get to utilize my hobby and passion, and a wonderful network of family, friends, and colleagues.

I want to be better.  I want to someday actually work through all of those mandolin books, writing books, and that increasingly long short-list of books to read and review.  But I will not sacrifice my family time to do so, neither will I give up on being a part of those real life ministry moments that the band has been given. (I don't think I've mentioned that band before: swing by here if you want to know what I'm talking about.)  I've no doubt that I need to learn to manage my time better, and I need to be more strict in disciplining myself (and I need to ramble less when I write), but I need to be a part of here and now, and I cannot give up the chance to breathe hope and joy into someone's life for the sake of my own ambition.  It's been good for me to be reminded of all of this. . . but I still wish I had done a much better job of maintaining this site and being more faithful to this project.

Last week's tune was another beautiful European one.  One of the beautiful things about being part of an online learning forum is that I've been made to try and learn tunes that I wouldn't have paid much attention to otherwise.  This exposure has made me move out of the usual patterns in which I play, and re-learn how to utilize the entire range of the mandolin.

Also, last week's tune was that first that I've ever learned by reading standard notation.  Usually I just learn by ear, or read the tablature.  It's nice to know those piano lessons so many years ago are still paying off, even if there is an unhealthy amount of thinking involved.

Hope you enjoy the tune. Here is "The Lass of Patti's Mill."

Oh, and because if anything can go wrong, it probably will:

It promises to be a super-long six weeks.  You should try typing with this thing on.  Or should I say, y0u sh0upd try ty[ping with thi0s thing 0n0 ;